Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
