We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
