Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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