dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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