it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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