i permit you to call me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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