I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
