so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize