This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I could make wine with my vomit
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
