why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
