So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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