I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
