you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
try to milk me bitch
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