we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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