whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
