Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
