i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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