I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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