is your mom at the bar?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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