Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
