one two three fourrrrnication!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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