she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
