You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
