You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
