we have officially lost it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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