I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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