wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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