it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
