i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
