I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
