I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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