But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
