I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
