my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
