great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize