Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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