I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
