ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
