we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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