Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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