i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
