**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
