It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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