how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
