Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
