Sry I called you an 8
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im holly from the hills drunk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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