You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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