Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
