Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do herpes really smell.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
