why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
