It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
