speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
