What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
