she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
