dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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