the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize