i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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