Porn is love you can see.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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