Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
