i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
