Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
