I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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