she was so not down for the gang bang
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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