seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
