So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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