(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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