It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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