She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
