this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize