Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
