Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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(713): View more from Texas

well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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(695): View more from

it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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(805): View more from California

THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

It's a new year.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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(347): View more from New York

I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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(607): View more from New York

honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.

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(817): View more from Texas

Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?

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