I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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