Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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