Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
