Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
