We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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