I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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