it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize